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Pleasant

need a laugh when rlc is dead #2

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A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again.

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Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

 

Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?

You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!

 

Why did the gay man think his lover was cheating on him?

He came home shit faced.

 

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

 

Why don't little girls fart?

Because they don't get assholes until they're married.

 

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A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for? Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice". Where is Donald Trump's?" Asks the man. Jesus answers, "It's in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan". 

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