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    • It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered "You've got to keep that old motor running". The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again said "You've got to keep the old motor running". The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said "You must be quite a man". He responded "You've got to keep that old motor running". The nurse then said "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black".

    • Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"

    • Two pedo's were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacy knickers on the ground. The first one picks them up, smells them and goes "Aahhh... a seven-year-old girl". The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and goes "No, no... definitely an eight-year-old girl!" The two of them are them smelling them in turns and arguing. "An eight-year-old!" "No, a seven-year-old!" "Definitely an eight-year-old!"... and so on. The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about. The first paedophile tells the priest, and asks him if he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says: "Definitely an eight-year-old girl... but not from my parish!"