toolmaker123

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toolmaker123 last won the day on October 20 2016

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About toolmaker123

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  • Birthday August 17

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  1. This needs to be moved to the proper topic within the forum by an administrator; Moderators don't have 'the power'
  2. You better take that DNR shirt off then.
  3. Nicole Irma Nicole Irma Karol
  4. what if Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra?
  5. One day little Tommy is watching men build a road with big machines. The boy noticed every time one of the went in reverse, it made a beeping sound. Later that day Tommy went to Wal-Mart with his dad and as they were standing in line, Tommy noticed a big, fat woman in the line ahead of them. Suddenly, he heard her pager go off and he says, "Lookout dad, She's abacking up!"
  6. The Adult Version of 'The Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, and boy was it neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder. I was donning my pants, to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was ail smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and smelled like a whore. "That was some brothel," he said with a smile, "The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay awhile" He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knees. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several more things I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, And a dildo so long that it lay in a coil. "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split." He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch, Saying,"Take me home, Rudolf. This night's been a bitch!" The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, "The best thing about pussy is you can't wear it out!!"
  7. A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language." Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. As the mother began to smile, the child added, "And for those of you who are pissed off about the fucking TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."
  8. Something I have in common with Mariah Carey- I don't know the words to her songs either.
  9. It ain't Live by any stretch of the imagination; rlc has full control of the video feeds. If something goes awry, they see it long before you will. The apartments then quickly go U M. this happened awhile ago when the water heater fritzed out Barca 1. I sure there are 'emergencies' that arise, as with any rental property......... RLC has a reputation to uphold. They don't want payers to see THE BAD STUFF ! There are members here that can also add 2 cents worth......
  10. This is Real Life; stupidity is part of real life. Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid. John Wayne
  11. When they were passing out brains, the thought they said trains; they said, "Be sure to give me a slow one!"
  12. There was...... but it's on the wind now
  13. She has a lead lined pussy; the girl can fuck for hours, as seen in N&B apartment.
  14. NO Pay; No Play.........easy peasey !
  15. And Paul; Leora has 2 assholes