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About Sketch

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 11/08/1968

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    Man cave

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  1. Most of the time it's just the same people rambling nonsense to themselves.
  2. Yankin' your chain Varnishing the cane Taking care of business Polishing the family jewels
  3. Makes you wonder why they don't want to invest in new apartments and getting new couples or single women. Doesn't make sense if you are planning on expanding and making your site better and worth viewing. Anyone with half a brain could figure that out.
  4. There once was a man called Sweeney. He spilled some gin on his weenie. That being uncouth. He dipped it in vermouth. And slipped his wife a dry martini.
  5. Three old timers at the retirement home were complaining about growing old. The first one says, "I wake up at 7:00am and try for half an hour to take a shit. The second one says, "Oh yeah? I spend an hour trying to take a piss." The third one says, "I take a nice shit at 7:00am and about 7:30am take a nice piss." The other two guys look at him and ask, "What are you complaining about?" The third man explains, "I don't wake up till 8:30am."
  6. A man and his sheep walk into a bar. Its about 5pm, but they are ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shots, one after another. Finally the bartender shouts, "Last orders." So the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my sheep." Suddenly, the sheep falls over dead. The man throws some money the bar, puts his coat on and starts to leave. The bartender yells, "Hey buddy, you can't leave that lyin there." To which the man replies, "That's not a lion, that's a sheep."
  7. Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?" She winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in 10 minutes, meet me in the car park."
  8. This chick tried to get me fired today for giving her an inappropriate massage in the office. I said, "Good luck with that sweetheart, I don't even work here!"
  9. Today I did that thing where you walk into a room and totally forget what you went in for. It was only when the shit started running down my leg that I remembered.
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